There is this. There is that.

There is this. There is that.

People are pretty much good for nothing.

People born to this merciless world. Come with full of hope from their parents. "You should be a good boy" , "You should take the right path" , "You must become a success one"

Nah. Is it a burden?

Nah. It's a tradition. When you have a children, you hope that they will become your "eraser and pencil", that can erase your mistake and write a new scenario. People full of sins. Full of regrets. Full of hopes, but full af delusion in the same time. 

"I failed as a mother" That's what she said in front of her child.

"That's mean, i failed as a daughter" She said in front of her mother.

We don't have any plans. Never had. But life is full of her orders. You said it but never show how to do it.

Life getting sadden all of sudden. She never smile from her heart. He always take a deep breathe. And they always mumbling, "what we will do now?" "what we can do now?" "why our life is so pitiful?"

There is this. There is that.

As she ever knew, she always wake up with full of anxiety. 

"Will she mad at me? will he mad at me?" she said in silence.

She take a deep breathe and watch the clocks ticking. "How long i must face her with this anxiety?"

She said to her, "There's no hope anymore" "Can you bring us any happiness now?" "He's already in his old age"

But she just  girl with full of thought. She just a girl with no sense of direction. She just a girl who sits down in front her laptop in the night till morning. 

There is this. There is that.

She always come home late with hers. A bright light touch the window. "ah, they come" she said. 

They walk like their feet are tied with a ton of stone. Gloomy face and no conversation. She begins to think that there's no need to welcome them. She still in her room. 

He's coughing. "Ah, he's already old"

There are jokes in an early week of the month. There are a few of jokes in the middle. And there are no jokes in the last week of the month. She knew that. She knew that actually they're never had any jokes afterall.

There is this. There is that.

Did she cry? No. 

Could she cry? No.

Why? She said it's too tiring to cry. And she already used to it. But i know, she always had this sad eyes. She sees the floor, but she actually never really sees the floor. Her eyelashes are not that long, so i can see her eyes.

Her eyes says "nothing at all".

she laughed so hard when watch a comedy shows on tv, but after the show ends, she comes back to her chair, infront of her laptop. And again, i see that eyes. 

There is this. There is that. 

They are three. She's at home. She's with hers. And he's with his. 

She want to go, but she's so useless that she doesn't have money.

She can go because she is with hers. He can go because he has a horse. she has nothing.

she used to holding back. she pleased people. so, she never really want something. she wants it today, but she might not want it tomorrow. 

rejection. delete. it's REJECTION. 

There is this. There is that. 

she feels anxious. she start to wish she still inside her womb and never to come out.

she stares at the unfinished piece. "have i lost my passion?"

she stares at the blank page. "why?"

she stops. 

there is this there is that.

They feel gloomy. House is gloomy. She is gloomy. She is gloomy. She is gloomy. He is gloomy. He is gloomy.

"Ah, it's raining outside" she said while she close her eyes for a while.